Supporting Young People Through Exam Stress and Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide

It’s that time of year again.,.

This week, I want to talk about something that will affect lots of us at this time of year - exam stress. Having worked in higher education as a tutor and later as a counsellor, I've seen first-hand the toll that exams can have on young people.

Exam season can be a stressful time, not just for young people, but for parents too. Watching your child struggle before and during exam periods can feel overwhelming, especially if you're unsure of the best way to help.

The pressure to succeed, fear of failure and constant comparisons to peers or predicted grades can weigh heavily on a young person’s mind. But there’s a lot you can do as a parent to create a calm, supportive environment that helps your child feel more confident, capable, and less alone.

Here’s a guide to understanding exam stress and practical ways to support your child through it, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Whatever age your young person is, you'll find something here that can help.

Obviously, counselling is always an option to help manage the stress and anxiety if you feel that your child needs some extra help. At times like this, I find that having my dog with me in the therapy room is a huge asset.

What Does Exam Stress Look Like?

Every young person is different, but there are common signs of exam-related stress and anxiety that parents can look out for:

• Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Changes in appetite, eating too much or too little

• Withdrawal from friends or family

• Irritability or mood swings

• Avoidance of revision or procrastination

• Negative self-talk ("I'm going to fail", "I can't do this")

• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue

  
  

Understanding these signs as stress responses rather than bad behaviour can make it easier to offer compassionate support rather than reacting out of frustration or worry.

What Can I Do to Help?

1. Create a Calm, Supportive Home Environment

The atmosphere at home plays a big role in how a young person handles pressure. Try to keep things as calm and predictable as possible during exam season. Avoid unnecessary conflict or overstimulation, and help create a quiet, tidy space where they can focus (ok, I’ve had teenagers at home - tidy ‘ish’ will do).

It can also help to encourage a balanced routine; one that includes breaks, meals, downtime, and sleep, not just endless revision.

2. Be Present and Listen Without Fixing

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is just listen. If your child opens up about feeling overwhelmed, resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. Instead, validate how they feel:

• "That sounds really hard. I can see why you feel stressed."

• "It’s okay to feel anxious, these exams are important to you."

Young people need to feel heard and understood, not just reassured that “everything will be fine.” This helps build emotional resilience and trust.

3. Help Them Break Things Down

Big goals can feel intimidating, especially when a young person is already under pressure. Offer gentle support with planning and organisation, but let them take the lead as much as possible. You might suggest:

• Using a wall planner or app to map out revision

• Scheduling breaks and rest time

• Focusing on one topic or task at a time

Encouraging progress over perfection can help take the pressure off.

4. Keep Routines Consistent

It’s tempting to let routines slip during stressful times, but sticking to a regular rhythm can help the body and brain cope. Encourage:

• Sleep: 7–9 hours a night for most teens

• Nutrition: Regular meals and snacks to support concentration

• Movement: A walk, playing with the dog/cat etc, or kicking a ball around in the garden can all help release tension

• Rest: quiet, screen-free downtime to decompress

These habits don’t just support revision, they support everyday mental health.

5. Model a Healthy Attitude Towards Stress and Mistakes

Young people often take their cues from the adults around them. If they see you managing your own stress in a healthy way, or accepting mistakes as part of learning, they’re more likely to do the same.

You don’t have to be perfect. But being open about your own experiences, like how you felt nervous before an interview or coped with setbacks, can help them feel less alone and more equipped to manage their own emotions.

6. Praise Effort Over Outcomes

During exam season, it’s easy for young people to feel like their worth is measured by grades alone. Counter this by recognising their effort, courage, and commitment, not just results.

• "I'm really proud of how hard you're working, even when it's tough."

• "It’s okay if it’s not perfect, you’re doing your best and that’s enough."

This helps build internal motivation and confidence, rather than fear-based drive.

7. Know When Stress Becomes Something More

It’s normal for young people to feel nervous or under pressure before exams. But sometimes, stress can tip into something more serious, like anxiety or depression. If your child:

• Is constantly overwhelmed or panicking

• Refuses to attend school or exams

• Has persistent low mood or self-critical thoughts

• Talks about feeling hopeless or “giving up”

• Is withdrawing from friends, family or usual interests

… it might be time to seek additional support. find my contact details here.

8. Encourage Healthy Outlets for Emotion

Creative and physical outlets can help young people express how they feel. Encourage activities like drawing, sports or playing music (whatever interests your child has outside school) , even if it’s just for 10 minutes. These kinds of breaks are not a waste of time, they’re vital for emotional regulation.

And don’t underestimate the power of pets. If you have a dog or cat, spending time with them can bring comfort, calm and a break from academic pressure.

9. Remind Them of the Bigger Picture

Exams are important, but they are not the sole measure of a person’s value, intelligence, or future. Remind your child that there are many paths to success, and that one set of grades does not define them.

Let them know they are loved and accepted regardless of the outcome. That message may matter more than any revision session.

When Professional Help Can Make a Difference

If your child’s anxiety is persistent or begins to affect their day-to-day functioning, counselling can provide somewhere for them to talk, build confidence,and learn new coping strategies.

As a counsellor based in Devon, I have worked with young people who are navigating stress, anxiety, and pressure around school and exams. Traditional talking therapy, with the additional benefit of canine-assisted therapy with my Labrador, Merlin, can really help.

Support is available, whether you go through your GP, a school counsellor or a private therapist. Taking that first step can be a turning point for your child’s wellbeing and for your peace of mind as a parent, too.

Final Thoughts

Supporting your child through exam stress can feel daunting, but you don’t have to have all the answers. By offering a calm, compassionate presence, encouraging healthy habits, and seeking help when needed, you're already doing a great job.

Be gentle with yourself, and with them. This season will pass, and with your support, your child will come through it not only with knowledge, but with emotional resilience, too.

Contact Tracey