What's Counselling Actually Like? A First-Timer’s Guide
- Tracey Langrill
- May 14
- 6 min read
If you’re thinking about trying counselling for the first time, it’s normal to have questions. What should you expect? How does it work? Will you be judged? These are all common concerns, and it’s good to be prepared before you take the step.
In this guide, I’ll break down what you can expect from your first session, what the process looks like and how counselling can be helpful in practical terms. You may also meet my therapy dog, Merlin, who helps create a calming and welcoming atmosphere. His presence is a part of my approach to making the space feel as comfortable as possible, especially for first-time clients.
I'm an Integrative Counsellor: What does that mean?
As integrative counsellor will use a flexible, tailored approach to therapy that adapts to your specific needs. Instead of sticking to one rigid method, I combine various therapeutic models, drawing on different techniques to suit the issues you’re facing. If you're interested in a little more detail, have a look at the bottom of this blog, where I've listed some of the more common approaches I use.
By using this integrative approach, therapy becomes not a one-size-fits-all experience but one that’s responsive to you.
Finding the Right Counsellor
Before you even attend your first session, it’s important to find a counsellor that suits your needs. You’re looking for someone you feel comfortable talking to and who has experience with the issues you want to address. The best way to get a sense of whether a counsellor is a good fit is to read through their background and approach to therapy. Many counsellors, including myself, offer an initial consultation so you can get a feel for how things might work.
If you’re not sure where to start, don’t hesitate to ask questions about their approach, qualifications, and experience. A good therapist will explain how they work and will respect your preferences. Personally, I feel it's important to find a counsellor who's registered with a major organisation such as the BACP, NCPS, BABCP or UKCP for example, as it gives you assurances of a certain standard of training and experience. Read about me and my qualifications
What to Expect During Your First Session
When you walk into your first session, it might feel a bit unfamiliar. But here’s what you can expect:
Introductions and Setting the Scene: I’ll start by explaining the basics of counselling; how it works, the confidentiality of our sessions, and what you can expect moving forward. I’ll also make sure you feel comfortable in the space, whether it’s in-person or virtual. If we’re meeting in person, you'll meet Merlin, my therapy dog. He’s trained to help create a calm and welcoming atmosphere, which can be especially helpful if you’re feeling nervous about starting therapy. He’s a good icebreaker and (another) non-judgmental presence in the room.
Read more about Merlin and animal assisted therapy here.
Meet Merlin Talking About What Brings You In: The first session is primarily about understanding your situation. I’ll ask you to talk about why you’re seeking therapy and what you want to achieve. There’s no pressure to dive deep into everything straight away, but the more information I have, the better I can tailor the sessions to your needs.
Setting Goals: It’s helpful to discuss what you’d like to get out of counselling. Whether it’s managing stress, improving relationships, or dealing with personal issues, setting goals early on gives us something to work toward. This will guide the direction of our sessions.
How Does Counselling Work?
The approach to counselling can vary, depending on the issues you’re facing and what feels most comfortable for you. I use a range of techniques based on your needs. Some sessions may involve talking through specific issues, while others might focus on strategies to address particular problems, such as stress, anxiety, or low confidence.
You absolutely won’t be expected to change everything all at once. Counselling is a process, and it’s important to work at your pace. Over time, we’ll work together to break down patterns of thinking or behaviour that might be holding you back.
What Happens Between Sessions?
The work doesn’t stop when you leave your session. After each meeting, you might feel a range of emotions, and that’s normal. Sometimes, I may suggest exercises or tasks to work on between sessions, such as journaling, self-reflection, or practicing specific techniques for managing stress. These aren’t mandatory, but they can help reinforce what we’re working on in the sessions.
Sessions also give you the chance to reflect on what you’ve learned and how it’s affecting your day-to-day life. In our next meeting, we’ll check in on your progress and adjust our approach if needed. The therapy process is flexible, so it evolves based on your feedback.
Common Myths About Counselling
There are a lot of misconceptions about therapy that can hold people back from seeking help. Let’s address a few:
“You need to have a major problem to go to therapy.”
Not true. Therapy isn’t just for people going through crises. It can be helpful for anyone dealing with stress, relationship issues, personal development, or simply needing support.
“The therapist will tell me what to do.”
Therapy isn’t about being told what to do. It’s about identifying issues, discussing them, and working together to find practical solutions that make sense for you. I will never tell you what to do.
“You’ll have to talk about things you’re not ready to discuss.”
You control the pace of therapy. We’ll work on what you feel ready to address, and there’s no pressure to talk about anything until you feel comfortable. My training will help me create an environment for you to feel safe enough to open up to talk about difficult events and feelings when you’re ready.
Why Counselling Works
Counselling is effective because it helps you understand the root causes of your challenges and equips you with strategies to address them. Rather than just offering advice or a quick fix, therapy gives you the tools to handle situations on your own in a healthy and self-sustainable way. By gaining clarity on your thoughts and emotions, you can make more informed decisions and improve your overall well-being.
Taking the First Step
It’s normal to feel unsure about starting therapy, but it’s important to remember that counselling is a tool for personal growth and change. Whether you’re dealing with specific challenges or simply looking to improve your mental health, it can be incredibly valuable. The first step is often the hardest, but it’s also the most important.
If you’re ready to take that first step or just want to ask more questions about how counselling works, don’t hesitate to reach out. Merlin and I are here to help you get started on the path to feeling better.
Footnote: Counselling approaches I use...
As an integrative counsellor, I draw from a range of therapeutic models to suit your individual needs. These models are not one-size-fits-all, but rather flexible tools that allow me to adapt the approach to what best fits your unique situation. Here’s a brief overview of the therapeutic modalities I incorporate into our work together:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This approach focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that can influence feelings and behaviours. The goal is to reframe unhelpful thinking and develop healthier, more balanced perspectives. CBT is particularly effective for managing anxiety, depression, and stress, as it helps break the cycle of negative thoughts and reactions.
Gestalt Therapy: Gestalt therapy emphasizes awareness and being fully present in the moment. It encourages you to experience your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours without judgment, helping to uncover deeper layers of self-awareness. The technique often involves role-playing or exercises that help you explore unresolved emotions and unfinished business, aiming to bring clarity and healing.
Existential Therapy: This approach delves into life’s bigger questions — things like purpose, freedom, death, and meaning. It’s a way of examining the choices you make, how you view your life, and where you feel unfulfilled or uncertain. By facing these existential concerns directly, existential therapy helps you create a sense of meaning and find freedom within your circumstances.
Person-Centred Therapy: Developed by Carl Rogers, this therapy is based on the belief that everyone has the capacity for personal growth when provided with the right conditions. In a safe, non-judgmental environment, we work on exploring your feelings and experiences without fear of criticism. It helps you reconnect with your true self, fostering self-acceptance and personal development.
Transactional Analysis (TA): This model looks at communication patterns and the dynamics of relationships. It examines the different "ego states" we operate from — Parent, Adult, and Child — and helps identify how these affect the way we interact with others. Through TA, we can explore and improve your interpersonal relationships, set healthy boundaries, and change unhealthy communication habits.
Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): IFS works with the various “parts” of your psyche, exploring how different internal voices or sub-personalities — such as the Inner Critic or the Wounded Child — interact with each other. By fostering dialogue between these parts, IFS helps create internal harmony, allowing you to heal emotional wounds and achieve greater self-compassion and balance.
These approaches allow me to tailor therapy to what works best for you, depending on your needs and what you’re going through. If you prefer a structured approach, I can incorporate CBT techniques. If you’re looking for deeper emotional exploration, Gestalt or IFS may be more beneficial. The flexibility of an integrative approach means that our work will always be aligned with where you are in your journey.
